The XFL is undeniably awesome. I mean, who doesn’t love extra football after the Super Bowl? It’s amazing. If I ask 10 Americans whether they think the XFL is a good thing, 9.5 of them are going to say “Yes!”. What about the half person who says “nah, I’m good.”? Well, he’ll be busy doing boring productive stuff while the rest of us get to argue about whether the Defenders are legit or not (they are).
Although you have to ask yourself, why is it awesome? What actually makes the XFL enjoyable? Is it the mere fact that it’s football? Is it the futuristic rule changes? Is it that there’s a team called THE DRAGONS???
Although I do think the uniforms and team names absolutely rule, I don’t think that’s the reason the XFL is successful. That real reason is going to determine just how long we get to watch this horrible beautiful football.
Before we get to that real reason, I want to talk about some really cool features the XFL had in its first weekend.
1. Sideline Interviews
Imagine this. You’re a down on your luck kicker. You were dominant in college but never really got a chance in the NFL. You’re not really sure what you’re going to do with your life now because kicking doesn’t seem to be paying the bills. On a day with a clear blue sky, you get a call from the DC Defenders. They want you to come kick for them. Excitedly, you agree. You bring out the old football cleats and head to a local field to practice. Eventually, comes a fateful day. February 8th, 2020. Week 1 of the XFL season. It’s time to shine. Your team is driving down the field, but the drive suddenly comes to a halt. Your coach tells you to head out to the field to kick. It’s time. You line up the kick, and it’s good! You go sit back down on the bench and wait for your next moment, but you don’t have to wait too long. It’s now 6-3, your opponents are leading now. Once again, your coach calls on your number to score for the team. This one is a 35 yard field goal. It should be easy for a kicker of your caliber, plus you’re feeling confident after your first field goal. You line up the kick and send it away, but this one misses. Your heart sinks deep into your stomach. The other team starts celebrating, and all you can do is walk away in shame. You hobble off the field, hoping to find an empty and secluded spot of bench to sit down when all of a sudden there she is. ESPN reporter Dianna Russini is standing in front of you with a microphone in your face. Now, you have to face the truth, and explain what went wrong while your newly-found kicking career threatens to crumble away.
And that my friends, is the beauty of the sideline interview. That’s not even the best one from that game! For some reason, ESPN thought it would be a good idea to interview offensive lineman Dillon Day right after he received an unsportsmanlike penalty for an on-field scuffle. You can only imagine what ensued after that. (If you somehow missed it, here’s a link) That’s the best part about these new sideline interviews. You’re catching players at their most emotional, right after they either succeed gloriously or fail epically. It’s perfect, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
2. Everybody has Mics
Literally every singly person that steps onto the field has a microphone on them. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if the fans got mics when they walk into the stadium. This one I’m not as crazy about. Is hearing the play that the coach is calling really adding any entertainment to the game? Give me Tony Romo circling a receiver with a yellow highlighter and predicting what’s going to happen over hearing the actual name on the play sheet.
Speaking of which, I HATE hearing the refs talk to the review judge. On paper it sounds like an excellent idea, (I did love seeing that the official uses an Xbox remote to control the video feed), but in execution it just sounds lame. It just sounds like two people in a factory trying to figure out what temperature a tank should be at. It’s so robotic that it killed any kind of interest I had in the call. The announcers are *perfect* at dramatizing the replay over whether the ball got to the first down marker or not. They make me feel like my life is on the line over that call. Let them keep doing that and spare me the odd transparency.
3. New Quirky Rules
The sports analytics guy in me LOVES all of the new rules. The football guy in my HATES them. Such is the duality of man. We’ll start with the PAT rules. Here’s a link if you need a quick rundown. These new rules are absolutely incredible. They open up a whole new avenue of sports talk where we can write think pieces about when coaches should go for each type of conversion. It’s a sports writers and analytic nerd’s dream. And from a pure fan’s perspective, what other league can you see a score of 31 – 19? Certainly not the stupid NFL that’s for sure. We suddenly live in a world where an 18 point lead is just a 2 score game. Thanks, XFL! To boot, a touchdown is no longer automatically worth 7 points. You have to earn that extra point the hard way. So somehow, the new PAT rules both entertain the sports nerds and placates the hard-nosed football guys. Pretty cool.
The kickoff rules though are weird as hell. I like the idea of having the players stand still until the ball is caught, but “Major touchbacks” is where you lose me. Just get rid of the kickoff all together, it’s a pointless exercise that rarely results in exciting plays and often leads to injury. Don’t try to fix what can’t be fixed.
Also, what world do we live in where incompletions keep the clock moving? The timing rules are nonsensical, and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to them. If there’s one thing I don’t want to change in football, it’s yelling at coaches for having poor clock management skills, and the XFL lets them all off the hook during the “Comeback Period”. It’s a tradition unlike any other and it lets me feel smug and superior to people making millions of dollars a year.
(Also, microchip the football you cowards @ XFL)
Those were the big three points I wanted to hit on about the XFL. It’s a fun chaotic mess right now, and if it stays that way I would love it. But none of those are the reason it’s successful. Hell, it isn’t even the TV deals with Fox and ESPN that are going to determine whether this works or not. I’m going to try to say this with a straight face, but here we go. It comes down to you and me, the fans. Our shared experience of reacting to the game is what gives it it’s excitement. Trust me, it isn’t the caliber of players that makes it exciting. It’s all about us reacting to and experiencing this new weird thing together. I’m only excited about the XFL, because all of you are too.
Sadly, the XFL is basically Tinkerbell. If we don’t give it attention it will die. And with it, the DC Defenders will die. And the Seattle Dragons will die. And the Dallas Renegades will die. And “Team 9” will die. Go look that one up LOL. The second we stop talking about the XFL, all of the attention will dry up. And with that attention goes the ad revenue. And then the ticket sales will go. And then the XFL will be losing money before the analytics guys can even figure out when you should be going for 2 (or 3!)
March is going to be a really telling month for the XFL. Are people going to choose to watch B-league football over the glory of March Madness? I don’t think so, but that day is fast approaching. For the people invested in the league, that’s an Armageddon that I believe is unavoidable. So, enjoy the quirks and new names that come with a brand new sports league, but don’t get too attached. I don’t think it’s sticking around all that long, purely because we’ll get distracted with a brand new thing while the XFL becomes old news.
-Spencer Jolley
Spencer's Sports 